Lord of the Rings Baby Clothes & Onesies

One baby to rule them all. The absolute best baby clothes inspired by Lord of the Rings.

Whether you are looking for some of J.R.R. Tolkien’s witticisms on a comfy onesie, or you just really need to dress your little one up like a Hobbit for Halloween, this is the best place on the web to find Lord of the Rings baby clothes for your favorite hobbit.

Second Breakfast Onesie

How many calories do you think a Hobbit burns during the day? My guess is around ten thousand. Seriously, your baby is kind of like Merry and Pippin in the sense she wants to eat every four hours.

Meal Time Onesie

Keeping to the theme of eating all day and night, here’s another Merry and Pippin inspired romper. Good thing they take a break and sip some tea between lunch and dinner. Meanwhile, what exactly is supper? Babies eat a lot and that’s why they outgrow all their Lord of the Rings baby clothes so quickly.

Lord of the (Stacking) Rings Onesie

I’m pretty sure most babies own those multi-colored rings that stack up on a stick of some sort. These are great for stacking on your little one’s arms and legs. Don’t worry they won’t seem to mind.

Lady Eowyn Onesie

The slayer of the Wraith King, queen of all men, and a timeless legend of Middle Earth. Your little one can grow up knowing that the fellowship weren’t the only heroes that defeated Sauron. Never tell a woman she can’t do something.

Nerdy Crossover Onesie

The perfect gift for the nerdy family that can’t decide on what favorite epic adventure to watch on a Friday night. That’s what’s fun about raising a nerdy family, you never ever get bored.

The Prancing Pony Onesie

Now it’s time to get serious about your LOTR fandom. The Prancing Pony isn’t just any inn, it’s literally the last bastion of safety before entering the untamed wilderness. At least that’s how hobbits fondly claim it.

Lord of the Rings "My Precious" Onesie photo

My Precious Onesie

There’s no shame in having your little one fixated on their pacifier. Seriously, it’s going to be the least of your problems as they get older. However, they’ll come a day when you’ll proverbially have to throw it into a volcano, never to be used again.

Halfling Onesie

They constantly eat, like to complain, and have furry feet. I’m of course talking about hobbits. Luckily, your little one will end up more human than halfling, but for now you can definitely draw some cute comparisons.

Lord of the Rings Crawl into Mordor Onesie photo

Crawl Into Mordor Onesie

It took Frodo six months to finally toss the ring into bubbling lava. Well, he didn’t really toss it. More like Gollum bit off his finger. No matter, the only way to get into Mordor is by having Samwise carry you.

Lord of the Rings "Visit Mordor" Onesie photo

Visit Mordor Onesie

For your next vacation (yeah right, like anyone gets a real vacation anymore) you might want to consider visiting the beautiful lands of Mordor. Inhabited by the hospitable orcs and goblins, you’ll never want to go home.

Pay your debts by checking out these Game of Thrones baby clothes.

Smallest Change Onesie

Very few films or books get me as excited as the Fellowship of the Ring does. It’s such an epic moment in fantasy literature. Here’s this group of individuals marching out into the wilderness, knowing they are going to face great perils beyond their imagining. Kind of like being a baby, I guess.

Pints Onesie

You can always count on Pippin to have a positive outlook on the world. Sounds like a wonderful chap to have a few drinks with. Do you know that smile your little one gets after getting a full belly of milk or formula? Yeah, I bet Pippin gets that exact same happy expression.

Tree of Gondor Onesie

For true fans of Gondor and Aragorn, the White Tree is a powerful symbol of strength and hope. If you’re looking for a simple design that’s very subtle, then look no further. You’ve found your child’s next outfit. However, feel free to purchase all the Lord of the Rings baby clothes featured in this article. I don’t want to hold you back from your dreams.

Don’t be Hasty Onesie

Can we just talk about this beard? Do you think it’s full of ticks? Do giraffes eat a few leaves from it every once in a while (are there even giraffes in Middle Earth? What happens to the beard during the fall season? These are my questions.

Lord of the Rings "Precisely" Onesie photo

A Baby Is Never Late Onesie

It’s true. Babies are never late, but that doesn’t mean they are on time either. I’ve found that babies just do whatever they want and do not respect our rules regarding time.

Eeny Meeny Onesie

We’ve already covered geeky families and how they struggle picking their franchise to be obsessed with. Your baby doesn’t need to choose, they can like all of them.

Lord of the Rings "The Road Goes Ever on" Onesie Photo

The Road Goes On Onesie

I hope your child never has to bear the responsibility that Frodo and Sam had to carry to Mordor. However, I’m sure they will look super cute in this onesie. It’s a long road and unfortunately less traveled.

Lord of the Rings Furrlowship Cats Onesie photo

LotR Cutie Cats

For you cat lovers out there, this adorable romper has the entire furr-lowship of the ring in cat form. What’s not to love about this purrfect parody?

Lord of the Rings "New Hobbit in Town" Onesie photo

New Hobbit in Town Onesie

Curse that Bilbo Baggins, thinks he’s so special, going on adventures, tricking trolls, fighting goblins, feasting with elves, and outsmarting dragons. A real “disturber of the peace” that one is. If he wasn’t 111 years-old, I’m give him what for! Good thing there’s a new hobbit in town to take his place.

Van Gogh Starry Night Hobbit Onesie photo

Van Gogh Fellowship Onesie

The beautiful design featured on this romper is inspired by the artist Vincent van Gogh. It looks so good, your baby will never spit up on it. Just kidding, your little one will stain this thing with everything they eat.

Lord of the Rings I'm a Hobbit Onesie photo

I’m A Hobbit Onesie

Disguise your child in this onesie to prevent adults from thinking you have a baby. Being a parent is tough. With your little one wearing this romper, you’ll be able to dress as an elf or wizard and pretend to be on an important quest. No one will know the difference.

Follow Me Shire Onesie

Once your child is crawling, rolling, or just plain walking, you’ll be constantly following them to make sure they don’t fall off the edge of the Earth. Might as well dress them in this romper and make a joke out of it.

Light In The Dark Onesie

The world can be a very dark, depressing place. Just ask Morrissey. Unfortunately, the same holds true in Tolkien’s fantastical world. Feel free to dress your little one in this romper to remind yourself that they are the bright light in the dark of your life. Everything will be okay!

Lord of the Rings Treebeard Onesie photo

Treebeard Onesie

Treebeard is my most loved character in LOTR. He’s wise, relaxed, and very patient. He just kind of sits around all day contemplating life. His lesson of not to be hasty is an important one for us all to heed.

Precious Onesie

Babies are precious, just like that sinister gold ring worn around Frodo’s neck. While the ring makes you disappear when you wear it, your friends will think you’ve vanished after giving birth. Please do not throw your little one into a volcano.

Muppet Fellowship

This sounds like a Muppet Babies episode from the 80’s. I wonder if Jim Henson were still around if he’d be down for a LotR muppet parody. Who would play Gandalf? Fozzie Bear should be Samwise without a doubt.

One Sword, Two Sword Onesie

There’s a lot going on in this romper, but beyond the Seuss wordplay, you’ll find Sting, our favorite goblin slaying weapon. I love these subtle crossover designs. Check out our home page for the other fandoms featured in this onesie!

Po-Ta-Toes Onesie

Taters are the perfect food—there’s just so many ways to prepare them! Can you imagine if Sam knew you could fry potatoes? In some parallel universe Sam, Frodo, and Gollum are sitting on a mountain enjoying french fries.

The Green Dragon

Come enjoy a pint of milk and listen to the hobbits sing their silly songs about family rivalries. Just make sure you don’t get any feet hair in your mug. All that dancing barefoot on tables has to be a violation of the Shire’s health codes.

Calculate Dragons Onesie

Living near a dragon just seems to be bad idea that keeps reoccuring in many different stories over the years. It is probably best to teach your children to stay as far away as they can from these flying beasts.

Keep Calm and Destroy Onesie

I don’t think there’s anything calm about destroying the ring, but Samwise does a great job of being chill. Sure, he gets a little jealous of Gollum, but he’s a relaxed dude. Your little one on the other hand will destroy all kinds of things. Hide everything.

RingWraiths Onesie

The Nazgul riders have one purpose and that’s to find the location of the ring. Unfortunately, they fear fire. How can you be so evil, yet be afraid of fire? They even carry poisoned blades! Such a waste.

JRR Tolkien Onesie photo

Tolkien About Onesie

Hobbits, goblins, dwarves, elves, and even dragons are contained in the works of J.R.R Tolkien. His mind must have been fascinating. Did you know he’s been published posthumously as much as when he was alive?

Riders of Rohan Onesie

Led by Eomer, these brave warriors disobey King Theoden and rescue the part of fellowship trying to find the hobbits. Now, your child can proudly wear the Riders’ banner as they battle nap time.

LotR Elvish Bodysuits

We’ve shown you all the cool Lord of the Rings rompers from around the Internet, but you have not seen these awesome baby pants covered in elvish designs. Get out the credit card.

The Second Breakfast Club Baby Bib photo

2nd Breakfast Club Bib

This Lord of the Rings baby clothes article wouldn’t be complete if we didn’t add a bib to the list. Honestly, babies eat all the time. They also nap (hopefully), stare off into space, and nap some more (hopefully). Very similar to the life of a hobbit that never leaves the Shire. Plus, references to the second best 80s movie set in a high school is always appreciated. The first best is Ferris Bueller’s of course, but I couldn’t find a “Bilbo Baggins’ Day Off” bib anywhere on the internet.

Angry Gollum Onesie

An Angry Birds and Lord of the Rings crossover doesn’t make any sense until you remember Gollum. That poor miserable creature would just love to be thrust in the air and sent on a path of destruction. Watch out Minas Tirith.

I’d Rather Be In Rivendell Onesie

The mysterious elves are one of the coolest parts of the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Rivendell is a fascinating location surrounded by beautiful nature. Who wouldn’t rather be there?

Baby Is Never Late Onesie

There is no anxiety like the kind you get from waiting for labor to begin. This is especially the case after your due date has passed. Babies, much like wizards, arrive exactly when they are supposed to, sometimes just in the nick of time.

Adventure Begins Pregnancy Announcement Onesie

My favorite LoTR film is Fellowship. I think it’s absolutely magical and awe-inspiring. I get chills just writing about it. Much like how the adventure begins for your little one. Sure, there will be challenges, but together you guys will overcome all obstacles.

I Am No Man Onesie

Some of the most powerful words in the whole trilogy. Eowyn saves the day and becomes a legendary hero in Return of the King. The Witch King didn’t stand a chance.

Balrog Onesie

Fire, brimstone, and a whip makes the Balrog one terrifying demon. However, I’ve always wondered why he’s so angry. There’s no reason to let all that negative energy build up inside oneself. In my head canon, it was a really nasty tooth infection. Just like what the Abominable Snowman suffered from in the Rudolph Christmas special.

Nobody Cares For The Woods Onesie

Treebeard is the true victim in all of Lord of the Rings. His kind is betrayed by humans and Saruman. You can’t help but feel sorry for him. Somewhere in another universe the Ents and the Lorax live happily ever after.

I Am Sting Onesie

Sure, we can talk about lightsabers and wizard wands, but never forget the short sword with the magical ability to glow when goblins were around. Sting is an awesome companion to have anytime you’re trekking into Mordor. A trusty blade indeed.

Adventure Together Onesie

Families are a lot like a heroic party of adventurers. You’re all in it together and you draw your morals and philosophy from many of the same sources. Families watch one another’s backs and support each other in times of need. Adventure over to our home page for more geeky baby clothes!

Keep Your Secrets Onesie

Babies have special secrets that only they are privy to. Think about it, your little one will stare off in space, giggle and smile in the middle of the night, and often talk to themselves. What are they doing? Only they know and there’s no reason to try to pry it out of them. It won’t work—I tried.